Home for a Wanderer

2009-03-08T02:45:00.001-04:00

Yeah--I teach high school.

2007-09-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

So I love listening to Sara Groves. She is a local, yet nationally recognized, Christan music artist. Here are the lyrics to one that always makes me miss my friends back in Michigan...
Every Minute
by Sara Groves

I am long on staying • I am slow to leave • Especially when it comes to you my friend • You have taught me slow down • And to prop up my feet • It's the fine art of being who I am • • And I can't figure out • Why you want me around • I'm not the smartest person I have ever met • But somehow that doesn't matter • No it never really mattered to you at all •

• And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me •

• And I can think of time when families all lived together • Four generations in one house • And the table was full of good food • And friends and neighbors • That's not how we like it now • • Cause if you sit at home you're a loser • Couldn't you find anything better to do • Well no I couldn't think of one thing • I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you •

• And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me •

• And I wish all the people I love the most • Could gather in one place • And know each other and love each other well • • And I wish we could all go camping • And lay beneath the stars • And have nothing to do and stories to tell • We'd sit around the campfire • And we'd make each other laugh remembering when • You're the first one I'm inviting • Always know that you're my friend •

• And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me • Every moment and every minute that you'll give me • Every moment and every minute that you'll give me • Every minute • •

2007-09-23T23:07:00.000-04:00

John took this picture on our vacation to Roatan Honduras last week. Yes, it is an octopus! It was amazing!

For your viewing pleasure:

2007-06-20T23:59:00.000-04:00

Here's to Braveheart. A good rat. A senior rat that age is catching up to at warp speed.

2007-06-13T18:35:00.000-04:00

What American accent do you have? (Best version so far)

Northern

You have a Northern accent. That could either be the Chicago/Detroit/Cleveland/Buffalo accent (easily recognizable) or the Western New England accent that news networks go for.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Not really a surprise given that I grew up in Michigan and now live in Minnesota...

2007-05-30T21:00:00.000-04:00

There is something totally precious about puppies. Here is our Scout with a sandy face after her first encounter with swimming. She went in on her own and started swimming. Now I am sure that it helped that there was another dog there swimming after a ball. Nevertheless, she did it. She is bound to be a water dog. The coolest thing to me is that after she did it, she got back on the beach and then turned around and did it again. As if she thought "Did I just swim? Can I do it again? Let's try it"
She is still exhausting. I don't think I will go to work with really clean pants again. She doesn't even jump up it is just that she steps on my hem. Also the house has not seen a lot of cleaning work done. We are just strying to stay one step in front of the dog. :)
I think she won over John's parents this weekend. This is a good thing since we hope to visit the cabin often.

2007-05-18T22:11:00.000-04:00

So learning about video games is part of my job since I will be moderating a website for one and communicating with users. I found this great website with the illustration below. Great Games Experiment. I am sure there are tons of game websites. I happen to really like the "play now" games. These little flash games that don't require downloads or money. My favorite is Indestructo Tank. You should try it. Well, only if you don't naturally form addictions to video games.

2007-05-16T00:32:00.000-04:00

On May 5, 2007, our lives changed. We brought home Scout, a then 9 week old lab mix. She has been a lot of fun, but it has caused us to change our schedules intensively. She is definitely a puppy. Love her one minute and pull your hair out the next. :) She is learning to "come" and "sit" so things are getting better. The house training is also going very well. Since I don't have children, I don't have the authority to say that is similar, but I am guessing that is one step closer to what it is like to have children than a cat is. Cats are so easy. I just love cats. Don't get me wrong with all of this talking--I really really like dogs. I have heard it said that puppy owners are the most honest pet owners on the planet. They'll tell you everything good and bad about their dog. :)

2007-05-12T17:53:00.000-04:00

If I could back date this post, it would have been put up on April 30, the day after we got home from Arizona. I had the chance to attend the North American Wolf Conference in Flagstaff Arizona. It just so happens that my sister is currently working for Americorp in Flagstaff. SO I jumped at the chance to have a working vacation. Also I had never been to the southwest before. It was an enjoyable vacation. I had to conquer or attempt to conquer a fear of mine...I really don't like being in precarious locations. We hiked 6.1 miles down into the Grand Canyon, which was amazing and grueling. At times you could look over the edge of the path and realize that you would fall a long ways before you would stop falling. The next day we went to Sedona and I walked onto a land bride that I was not comfortable being on. It is a good thing that I didn't read the sign that told people that the land bridge was not entirely stable. I feel like as I get older, my fears become more substantial. I don't like fast downward motion. We did some cross country skiing this winter and it took a while for me to really be comfortable with any downward slope. Thankfully, John is very patient with me. :) How did I start to let my fears dictate what I would do? Are fears healthy because they can keep you from doing things that could hurt you? How do we know which fears are unsubstantiated? By the way, in the picture above, John and I are standing on that little patch of rock island near the bottom of the picture.

2007-04-12T21:11:00.000-04:00

I have made a discovery!
One that many people have already made. I learned to Stumble Upon websites. You can load this button into your web browser and then based on your entered interests it will randomly choose a website that you might enjoy. Then based on how you rank those websites, it will pick other ones similar to the ones you liked. So for example, I am a sucker for cute animal pictures and video, so when I hit my "Stumble" button, I get a website with a cute animal picture a lot of the time. There is a button on this blog on the lower right side which will allow you to see which websites I have enjoyed. As if I needed help wasting time, right?

2007-04-11T23:47:00.000-04:00

Interesting website with personality tests. I feel like when I take the Myers Briggs test that I get different answers just about every time. Now I realize it is probably because I am borderline on a couple of the items. It is always interesting to learn about yourself. The multiple intelligence test is pretty much what I had anticipated.

2007-03-29T21:53:00.000-04:00

So I just feel that I need to post my top five concerts that I have been to. I was discussing this with John last weekend. It's just one of those things a person needs to determine so when they get to a concert that pushes out one of their top five, they know it.

In no particular order:

Andrew Peterson-Behold the Lamb concert with Gabe Scott, Ben Shrive, Andrew Osenga, and Laura Story: This concert was so unbelieveable...I mean I cried the music was so beautiful. I wanted the concert to go on all night. If you have never checked out Behold the Lamb, you should.

U2-Vertigo tour: Being five feet from Bono is an experience. So is fearing for your life as the crowd begins to push you into a fence.. and this is in Minnesota. But they are truly entertainers.

Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay-Acoustic show: Two of my favorite bands sounding the best I have heard them. It's hard to top.

Dave Matthews Band: The concert went by so fast, I wasn't sure if I had really been there. All I know is that I didn't sit down at any point in the show--I'm not a dancer, but I couldn't stop moving.

Rich Mullins: You just never know when that last concert you'll see of one of your favorite artists will be. I didn't know, but I am glad that I went. I admire a lot of things about this songwriter.

I like top five lists...maybe tomorrow it will be vegetables, if I can think of five that I like.

2007-03-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

My shower curtain has an atlas on it. Directly in front of the toilet are the islands of the South Pacific. Just about everyday I contemplate what goes on on these islands. I mean it looks like someone accidently splattered paint on it. There are islands everywhere and they are so small. How do people live there so far removed from the rest of the world?

For example, the islands of Yap (which is a large island and a few smallers ones) has 6,300 residents. The islands area is about 39 square miles. They are known for their large stone money which are discs up to eight feet in diameter. Some of them take 20 men to move them. So they stay where they are and everybody knows who they belong to. Actually, they are not used as currency any more. They have switched to the US dollar.

Or how about Nauru? Nauru is the world's smallest island nation, covering just 21 km² (8.1 sq. mi), the smallest independent republic, and the only republican state in the world without an official capital. The island has a population of 13000 residents. Nauruans are among the most obese people in the world, with 90% of adults overweight. Nauru has the world's highest level of type 2 diabetes, with more than 40% of the population affected.

Just think--these are just two of the vast number of inhabited islands in the South Pacific. These islands do exist. Let me state that I did get my information off of Wikipedia, which has recently been shown to contain questionable information. See earlier blog post.

2007-03-18T18:06:00.000-04:00

Here we are on the wrong side of Lake Michigan in Manitowoc WI.

We headed to this exotic locale for the wedding of a friend of mine. Her name is Clare and we worked together at Cooperstown Bible Camp in Cooperstown ND together. I hadn't seen her since she moved out of "The Cities". Going to her wedding reminded me of all the great friendships I had formed at this camp in the middle of now where North Dakota. Why is it hard to stay in touch with friends in this age of instant messaging and email and cell phones?

All this to say that I am thankful to a bunch of people that accepted me without question and without having to prove that I was worthy of their friendship. I appreciate you.

2007-03-15T01:24:00.000-04:00

Michelle on the pier in Holland Michigan with the coastline in the background (10/06)

"I woke up from a strange rain, it was dreaming outside"

I really love song lyrics.

Anyway, I am headed to exotic Manitowoc Wisconsin this weekend for a wedding of a friend. I have never been to Manitowoc, but I am sure it is beautiful this time of year.

One thing that I do know about it is that it is located on stunning Lake Michigan. I grew up about 30 minutes from Lake Michigan, but on the other side of the lake. Growing up on a Great Lake is like growing up on the ocean. It gets in your blood. A few months after moving to Minnesota, John and I passed through Duluth on our way to the cabin. When Lake Superior came into to view, I couldn't breathe. My heart ached. I am looking forward to seeing Lake Michigan this weekend despite the longing to never leave it.

2007-03-13T08:08:00.000-04:00

I love geocaching! This little bugger was found in Wisconsin. If you don't know what geocaching is, go to www.geocaching.com.

I am up to 64 finds. I have no idea why I don't do this everyday. Modern day treasure hunting.

2007-03-05T21:01:00.000-05:00

So the beauty of Wikipedia is that it is easily accessible and lots of people contribute to it so it should be reputable most of the time. While looking up one of the animals from the Zoo, I ran across its Wikipedia page. It was certainly news to me that the Binturong is sometimes known as a Reticulated Wangdangdoodle. Now I searched the internet high and low to verify such an incredible common name. I was unable to confirm this name. However since I have shown this to my husband, he now refers to this bizarre animal as a Reticulated Wangdangdoodle. Does that mean that incorrect Wikipedia entry can create truth? As long as someone refers to this creature as a Reticulated Wangdangdoodle, than isn't it true that that is another name for it?

One a side note, Binturongs are very peculiar. They give off an odor that smells like popcorn and the females have a "pseudo penis". Sometimes there is nothing as unsual as the real world.

Since the picture really is terrible, I am putting a better one in my photo album for you to look at. Unfortunately, Wikipedia has since changed the entry for the Binturong.

2007-03-04T22:18:00.000-05:00

Beware!! Guard cat with laser beam eyes!

2007-03-03T02:52:00.000-05:00

Wow! Is it true that I haven't used this blog since 2003?!?! What can I say? A lot has happened since 2003. The absurd picture is of my husband and I at the Timberwolves game on March 2. It was crazy wig night and this picture was #5 in the quest for me to get one where my eyes looked normal--however, as you can see, John sabatoged my efforts! So just for him I am putting it on my blog.

Speaking of John, that brings us to the topic of who is he and how did he end up my husband. I have been meaning to get this down somewhere so here we go. I don't remember the first time I met John. We were freshmen at Hope College in Holland Michigan. When you are a freshman, you meet everyone at least twice and rarely remember their name, major, or hometown. So we met as freshmen. We were both on the swim team, which is a fraternity/sorority of its own. So somewhere between being freshmen and being on the swim team we met and became friends. That honestly is all I have to say about our friendship until summer before our senior year of college. We both started attending a summer Christian fellowship group called Veritas that met at the Holland State Park Beach on Sunday nights. I didn't know he was a Christian and vice versa. This started our real friendship. Our senior year we both were dating (not each other) and busy. After graduating from Hope in 1996, John moved to Chicago and I stayed in Michigan trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Since Chicago wasn't too far away, I visited once. I remember looking at John in a slightly different light after that trip. It wasn't love-it was true friendship. I decided to go back to college to become a teacher and John decided to move to Minnesota. I began classes at Grand Valley State University in the summer of 1997. By this time the internet had become a fascinating new place filled with great ways to stay in touch with friends that lived hundreds of miles away. John and I became Instant Message buddies. For the next three years, we would chat on AIM and meet up when ever he would come into town to visit his family.

On Christmas day 1999, I found out that I had won and SUV on the internet. Not just any SUV-- a Nissan Xterra in bright yellow! Now you might ask how this impacted John and my relationship, well here's the story. I decided after driving the Xterra for a few months that it wasn't for me. I sold it and put the money in the bank. Joyfully, I went back to driving my beautiful seafoam Plymouth Colt. Seriously, joyfully. This windfall let me do something that I had always wanted to do, but never did before--work at a Bible camp for the summer. I started dreaming about all the amazing places I could work at a camp--California, Maine, Oregon, North Carolina... The list went on and on and at the bottom of the list was the state I ended up at--North Dakota. All I can tell you is that God knew exactly what he was doing. Now to get to North Dakota, I had to go through Minnesota. So it was the perfect time visit John and use him as a place to rest for the night for free. So I did. I stayed an extra day and had a great time. Then I headed off to camp for the summer 2000. During the summer, I received a package from John in the mail. It was filled with things we had talked about while I had visited. I was impressed, but he was just a friend. After camp, we continued to use the internet as our primary communication. I was doing my student teaching and finishing up school. I landed my first professional job in May and decided to return to the camp for the summer. On my way out, I stopped and visited John again. It was wonderful. Again, he sent me a care package that showed he had really listened to me. Again, I was impressed, but he was just a friend. (If I hadn't won the car, so I could work at a camp in ND so I had to go through MN and visit John, our friendship probably would have just stayed minimal.)

The next couple of years were busy since I was a beginning teacher. We used the internet to keep in touch. John got into a serious relationship. I really thought that I would get the email some day saying that he had popped the question to her. It never came and we became closer friends. As he was in this relationship, I began to see all the wonderful qualities he had. I thought I had missed the boat. Eventually, his relationship deteriorated and ended. We spent A LOT of time emailing and chatting. I questioned how much work he was getting done. :) We would see each other when he would come to town to visit family. Spring of 2004, John called me out of the blue Memorial Day from northern Minnesota. We talked for a long time. It was really nice to talk instead of type. When he visited Michigan in June, we saw each other for 5 straight days-the most we had seen each other since college. Still we were just friends. He invited me to meet up with him at Cornerstone Music Festival in Illinois on July 4th weekend. I told him I had to think about it. The night before the festival started, I decided to go. We had a great time. On the last evening as he followed me to wash off my dirty feet, he asked me to consider being more than friends. I left the next morning with the promise of something more than friendship. We talked daily and prayed about changing our friendship and being in a long distance relationship. Sometime in late July, we agreed to go on a date and see what happens. Of course since we lived in separate states, this required travel. I drove out to Minnesota and we went on our first date on Friday August 13, 2004. On December 27, 2004, in front of a winter campfire John proposed to me and I said "it's about time" just kidding... I said "yes!" We got married on July 15, 2005 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I moved out to Minnesota that summer and here I am-- now a Minnesotan and married. That's the story... thanks for reading.

2003-08-24T00:06:00.000-04:00

It is so easy to misplace our focus in our society. In the last week, I spent an evening comforting a friend that had just gotten her heart trashed because she wasn't "enough" for the scumball. Or at least she felt like she wasn't enough. What is it about us (females) that makes us think we have to be anything other than who we really are? I am thinking particularly about our physical appearances and our interaction with others. You all probably know that Proverbs 31:30 tells us "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". So why do we slave in the bathroom before we go out? Shouldn't we be soaking up one more tidbit of God's Word or praying over the evening? In 1Peter 3:3-4 it says "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Now I am not saying that we shouldn't wear gold jewelry--I am saying that our beauty should come from our desire to please God.
I would think that as a 28 year old female that I would have overcome this idea that I need to look a certain way or act a certain way in order to gain attention, but I get sucked in like many others. I guess I want to encourage those of you that feel like you are trying to change who you are in order to please others or gain attention from others. After coming to this conclusion, I decided to return to my "roots" and color my hair back to brown--it's natural color. I am also limiting my make up routine...only if I want to wear not because I feel obligated to wear it. Some of you have been pros at being your self regardless of others and I applaud you. Continue to be a light for those of us that get caught in the trap of the latest beauty product.

2001-09-27T11:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, so it has been more than a while and I am settling in finally to having a real job. Actually, currently I am supervising a study hall. I am usually tired. But I am adjusting. I think the scientist in me would call it adaptation. My kids are good for the most part. I have a couple of problem students, but for the most part, I definitely can't complain. I will write more later.....I promise. :)

2001-08-14T09:40:00.000-04:00

If you are curious about where I will be teaching....Here is the websiteGrant Public Schools
I will be at the high school so you might have to journey a little further. :)

2001-08-14T09:36:00.000-04:00

I think I may have to rename this blogger and call it "A First Year Teacher's Journal of Insanity". Yesterday I started pulling together my classroom. Thankfully someone ordered me all the school supplies that I would need. So I unpacked staplers, rulers, rubberbands, paperclips (in four different sizes and two different styles), pencils, and boxes and boxes and boxes of chalk. I also met my first student. Typical freshman looking for her classes so she doesn't walk into the wrong one on the first day of school. :) Now I just need plants for my classroom. I want my classroom to look alive, not a sterile flourescent concrete walled institution. Wel, I think that I am officially excited to be a teacher.

2001-08-10T14:29:00.000-04:00

Where did it all go? I mean I thought that July had 31 days in it, not 31 minutes. Why does summer do that? Wow, to be quite honest--I don't even know where to begin. I spent my summer in Cooperstown North Dakota working at a Bible camp out there. Let me tell you this--a summer of ministry can ruin your life-in all the good and bad ways. I have learned much about myself. One major thing is that I tend towards self-sufficiency a bit too much. Not that I don't trust God with my life, but that I want to do it on my own. I also tend to not open up to people like I should. It is more likely that I will joke about surface issues than dig into the heart of the matter. I guess I don't want to burden anyone with my issues. I feel that everyone has enough garbage to deal with, let alone hear mine. Plus, I would rather not admit that I can't handle everything on my own.

I also feel like I need to make a little tribute to my friends of the summer:

Seth: My encounters with you leave me longing to know a fraction of the Scriptures that you know. You point those around you to God with your living faith. Your farmboy work ethic leaves everyone else in the dust. Don't forget to enjoy the moments, like sitting in the office with the sun streaming in the windows listening to good music and the conversation of friends. You thought I was crazy at that moment, didn't you? Well, maybe not just that moment.

Clare: Your gentle spirit was always a breath of fresh air to me. Whenever the water started to close in over my head, you were there with a hand and a smile. You never got tired of listening to me talk or at least you never let it show. We are friends and our paths will cross again and I look forward to it. I hope the lake was everything you needed. No initiation. NEVER.

John: How would any of us have made it through the summer without you? I mean if only for your miraculous healing of the program office air conditioner. :) You were always willing to entertain my silly questions about why things work the way they do. Thank you for being patient with me. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Nate: I can't believe that I am friends with the student body president of Trinity International University. Do you think I could get an autographed button or something? :) What would I have done without you this summer? Thanks for understanding the way my mind works. Put the big rocks in first, but make sure you pick the right big rocks.

Mindy: I love your emtional honesty. You never let that computer really get the best of you. I am thankful that we could share this summer together. Your compassion for others will enable you to become a wonderful nurse. Don't forget who we're trying to please.

There are lots of others I could write a tribute to, but these are the ones that I spent the most time with. So to the rest of y'all. Just ask and I'll write a tribute to you. :)

I am sure that over the next month I will realize more and more the things that I have learned this summer. So for now I will begin the process of getting ready to be a high school Algebra and Biology teacher. I start having meetings in a little less than a week. Wow!! I have a "real" job.

If you want to know where I spent my summer, click here

2001-05-15T15:43:00.000-04:00

OKay okay...I know I am overdue for an update. And do I have an update.
1. I have a job in the fall. I will be teaching 5 Algebra classes and 1 Biology class at Grant High School. Grant is a small rural community just 30 minutes north of Grand Rapids. There are 650 students in the high school.

2. I have decided to work at Cooperstown Bible Camp for the summer. My role would include being in charge of the the female counselors. I just decided this yesterday. So if they accept me for it....(they offered it to me so I think they will) then I will leave in the next week to head out to North Dakota. Weird eh?

So there is the update. They will probably be few and far between now.

2001-04-29T23:20:00.000-04:00

So I wandered this past weekend. Those that know me, know that it is my sort of thing to get up and drive places for a 1.5 hour concert. Well, Wilmore Kentucky was beautiful. The road gave me lots of time to think. A couple of things occurred to me.
One--just when I think that I might be ready to consider getting into a relationship, I realize what a mess that might be. Does it stay that way? I mean do you just accept that you will have all kinds of "issues" to deal with in a relationship? Does that special person make it all worth it to wade through the crap of our lives? I often think...why would someone want to place importance on such an unstable unpredictable needy person? Or are we all unstable, unpredictable, and needy? Well, I was given a new cd this past weekend and there is a song on it that has some lyrics that hit me.
"Every single heart I have held in my hand, in my clumsy hands, I've fumbled them around until they fell. It's much safer ground just keeping to myself. But I still dream of tomorrow where the past will not be in my way and passion lives another day and I wilstill dream of tomorrow where perhaps she'll wait for me."
So I fall in the category of realizing that it much safer to keep to myslef, but I still dream of tomorrow where perhaps someone is waitng for me.
Second, I want to serve God, but why is it unclear sometimes? I am dodging God's bullets or at least I am waiting until He gets a good clear shot. I don't want to be just wounded and hobbling from one of His bullets. I want him to take me out make it clear what I am suppose to do with myself. So this is a really weird spot in my life. Where is my postcard from God telling me what to do? I think that I have decided to stay in West Michigan for a year and clear out my debt and then I will be free to go places that will be a little more financially unstable and not worry about the government coming after me. :) Hopefully, I will be willing to change after a year...my fear is that I will get too comfortable. Anyway, enough rambling for this Sunday evening.

2001-04-23T13:43:00.000-04:00

When is something considered walking by faith? When is
something considered foolish? Are we all "fools" in the eyes of
the world for following Christ? This weekend I went to a Youth
Specialties seminar in Grand Rapids and Mike Yaconelli was the
speaker. It was powerful to hear him talk about the Christian
faith as being dangerous. During one of the breaks, I was chatting
with a older gentleman in my congregation about the uncertainty of
my future. He mentioned to me that God speaks through
opportunities. He is a wise man that has followed God. He told me
that he is a little scared of retiring because he doesn't know what
God will ask of him. I felt like I could totally relate.

2001-04-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

Today was it....that's all there it. I am done with student teaching. It was a sad day for a couple of reasons. First, I left all those needy students that I really do love. Second, I got home and wanted to share my jubliation with someone, but there just wasn't anyone to share it with. There wasn't a message on my answering machine asking me how my day went. There were no emails from friends waiting for me to share my joy. (well, okay I did get one personal email today--thanks John) This really isn't a pity party for me and I don't want a flood of emails now. i amnot trying to make you feel guilty. I am just saying that I realized how nice it would be to have someone there to share these moments with. I am just as guilty because I didn't stay in touch with all my friends like I should have during this crazy winter. So for those of you that I haven't seen in a while....I'm back. :)

2001-04-16T22:16:00.000-04:00

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
Isaiah 30:21

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

Dear Lord,
Help me to delight in you. Help me to place my faith in you. Give me light and lead me.

2001-04-16T22:10:00.000-04:00

Today has brought me a gourmet of memories.....

It is summer....there is a slight breeze that brings the aroma of "The Lake"....the sand is warm beneath my feet....I can squish it between my toes as I hear the guitars strum....I turn to see friends in the Spirit on either side...I call this place "Home" in my heart.

I am in a dimly lit room with stained glass on all sides....my friends are standing near me....we are approaching the front of this large chapel to partake in the bread and wine....the presence of God is tangible.....I call this place "Home" in my heart.

I am in a place that once was named "My God is a consuming fire"....there is laughter in the air....there is a sharing of hopes and dreams and uncertainties....the smell of DeepWoods OFF permeates all things almost to the point that you cease to notice it....I call this place "Home" in my heart.

As I think back on these memories of different places and times in my life, I notice a theme that runs through these "Homes" -- the presence of God and friends. So in my search for a possible new home (geographical), I need to seach for a place that can contain these two items. Since God is Omnipresent, I guess that just leaves my friends. :)

2001-04-14T11:59:00.000-04:00

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19

Well, the first miracle happened. My taxes where completed this morning and it looks like I wil have a little more in my account than I need, which is unbelieveable. Honestly....unbelieveable. miraculous. To my dad the non-Christian, he sees that I didn't earn as much last year as he had estimated and so it makes sense. To me, all I see is God at work. But I still don't feel that I can make a commitment like being away for the summer yet. I need the job settled. Does this seem like I am putting stipulations on God? I don't mean to. I was chatting on line with a friend last night. I told her that I am beginning to fee like my life is out of my control. The minute I saw the words on the screen I realized--I should not have control of my life. I should be trusting God to control my life. Why is this so hard sometimes? I like to be in control of my own life. But then I shouldn't? Anyway, enough rambling. I am just estatic that the tax thing came out okay.

2001-04-13T14:26:00.000-04:00

So on to another dilemma in my life---this summer. So I am done with student teaching in 5 school days (unreal isn't it?) I have close to no idea what I will do with myself after that. I am planning on being a sub until school lets out. Then I really have no idea. This part of it isn't too much of a problem other than the fact that I have been asked if I want to go back and work at camp (Cooperstown Bible Camp in Cooperstown , ND) for the summer on the leadership staff. This is really difficult for me because my experience at CBC last summer was so incredible. I felt that I had grown unbelieveably spiritually, mentally, physically, and emtionally. The Biblical teaching that I experienced there was unreal. Really, the only way this would work out for me is if the following happen: 1. I don't owe too much on my taxes or at least I don't owe more than I have stashed away. Considering that I won a car in 2000, this is quite improbable, but God does perform miracles. 2. I work a lot in the month of May and save a lot of money. 3. Find a job that doesn't start until mid August. Now all of these things would have to occur rather quickly. So here I am in a position where I wonder if I am to wait for a sign (any of the above) or if I am to act totally on faith that this is what God wants me to do. The spiritual side of me says act on faith....but what happens if I say "okay" and then find out that I am unable to do it because I haven't found a job yet or I don't have enough money to get out to ND. So the truth is that I covet your prayers. Prayers that the things above will happen. Prayers that I will remain strong in my faith during this time of trial. Prayers that whatever happens my family will be supportive. Prayers that I will feel peace about my decsions and direction that is purely divine. Right now my stomach gets in a bunch everytime I think about what will happen in 2 weeks or in 2 days. This is unusual for me. Usually, uncertainty thrills me. Right now, it makes me feel ill. I know that God is faithful. Lord, Please shine your Light on my life.

2001-04-13T14:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, so it has been forever since I blogged. Things have been and continue to be crazy here in Michelle's Life. Where do I even begin?
Spring Break has come and gone. I traveled to North Carolina to look around at the school system down there. Specifically, Asheville. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed Asheville. I think if they offered me a job I would have to really consider it. From there I traveled to Winston-Salem/Greensboro because they had openings for a Biology teacher. Well, I wasn't sold on that area. It looked a lot like where I live now, just in the South. Since I was only an hour from Chapel Hill, I cruised over there to take a gander at UNC because it is my littlest sister's favorite school. It is a beautiful school. It made me wish that I had thought more about going out of state for college. Then I headed home.

The whole trip brought me to a couple of conclusions. First, it is hard to move somewhere that you don't know anybody. It can work, but looking at being a first year teacher I realized that it would be a difficult thing. Second, I really don't mind the Midwest. I cannot deny that I am a Midwest gal. As boring and unpredictable as that may sound, it is the truth. It doesn't mean that I couldn't change....it just means that it would be an adjustment. Third, I am really no closer to decided what I am going to do with my life than I was 5 years ago. Well, maybe a little closer...I at least know what I want to do--teach. But the perimeters on where have not presented themselves entirely.

So this has lead me to look at places where I might know someone....or at least have some sort of connection there. So here are some choices: Denver, Chicago, Raleigh, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Nashville, Boston/RI, Burlington VT, or almost anywhere in MI. So as you can see, I am not very close to figuring out this mess I call "my life."
So this was Spring break.....I am breaking up my blogging posts to cover the last month. :)
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2001-03-23T23:45:00.000-05:00

blogger.comWhen we become aware that
we do not have to escape our pains,
but that we can mobilize them
into a common search for life,
those very pains are transformed
from expressions of despair
into signs of hope.

- Henri Nouwen

2001-03-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

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Four years ago, I had a dream. I decided that I wanted to teach science. So I envisioned myself teaching high school biology in a town not very close to where I grew up. (The key there is NOT very close to where I grew up) This required me to go back to school for my teaching certificate. So I did. Here's my dilemma---I am at the verge of my dream. I graduate in April. I honestly never thought I would make it. So here I am. Why does my dream scare me now? I am looking at job descriptions in far off places that make my heart soar. I thought the goal of dreams was to accomplish them. Now I think that the goal of dreams is just simply to have them.

2001-03-13T22:15:00.000-05:00

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Man, don't you just love little sisters?
Mine can make me laugh so hard that I am about to wet my pants.
Sometimes I am glad that she comes home for vacations.
I am talking about my sister Andrea. She is 18, a freshman in college, and she needs to find a real man. She thinks the one she has is perfect....well, I'm only a sister. I don't have to kiss him. Or deal with his criminal record. wait...I guess it is just a misdomeaner. Tonight at the hockey game she was shouting at any random hockey player to "Marry my sister." She is getting desperate for me to get paired off. Everytime I think she really cares about my wellbeing and then she explains that is only because she wants some flower girls at her own wedding. Often it is followed up with "So get crackin'!" Anyway, like I said. She makes me laugh.

2001-03-13T15:22:00.000-05:00

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I love middle school kids. I honestly think it is as close to unconditional love on earth as a person can get. I remember being in middle school (only we called it junior high then). I didn't care much about anyone except for myself. Being a teacher, you are especially hard hit with their aggression and frustration. Never have I been the target of so many terrible barbs-until I entered the middle school as a 7th grade science student teacher. Wow. When I lay down to sleep at night, they ring in my head..."this is stupid....this class sucks....why don't you learn how to teach....you are a b****.....you are boring...I hate school.....I hate science....I don't want to...I don't care.....go ahead and call my mom.....what smells in here." It is a constant cycling of the everlasting questions. Yet when my alarm goes off in the morning all I can remember is how one student called me her "dawg" (which I guess is a good thing these days and it supposedly has nothing to do with a person's appearence). Or I remember that one difficult student making an effort to stay quiet on task even though it was close to impossible for that student. I remember the hilarious comments they make about life and their friends. I remember the hard to motivate student saying "man, that's tight." in reference to a science demonstration that I did. So I get ready and get in my car and repeat the cycle day after day after day. Kind of like they do, they look forward to going to school to see their friends, to be encouraged by respectable adults, and to gain a sense of accomplishment. But when they get there--they put on the "I'm too cool for school" mask. The hallways filled with "he said-she said" conversations, notes written by girls that dot their i's with hearts and write in colors like pink and purple, the smell of adolescents that haven't been made aware of deoderent yet even though they should have been, the extended amounts of time spent in the bathroom in front of the mirror by both girls and boys....did I mention that I love middle school kids?

2001-03-12T01:32:00.000-05:00

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So I am still trying to figure this all out. Please bear with me. :)

2001-03-12T01:28:00.000-05:00

All right. It is 1:41 AM and I am setting up a blogger. I guess this is what happens to a person when they take a 6 hour nap in the middle of the day. Too bad I have to get up in 4 hours and get ready to face 110 7th graders that think that school sucks and my goal in life is to take all the fun out of science. I saw that a couple of my friends have bloggers and how nice it would be to have a place to post my thoughts. I get so worn down from keeping so much crap locked up inside me. So here I am...blogging.