God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19

Well, the first miracle happened. My taxes where completed this morning and it looks like I wil have a little more in my account than I need, which is unbelieveable. Honestly....unbelieveable. miraculous. To my dad the non-Christian, he sees that I didn't earn as much last year as he had estimated and so it makes sense. To me, all I see is God at work. But I still don't feel that I can make a commitment like being away for the summer yet. I need the job settled. Does this seem like I am putting stipulations on God? I don't mean to. I was chatting on line with a friend last night. I told her that I am beginning to fee like my life is out of my control. The minute I saw the words on the screen I realized--I should not have control of my life. I should be trusting God to control my life. Why is this so hard sometimes? I like to be in control of my own life. But then I shouldn't? Anyway, enough rambling. I am just estatic that the tax thing came out okay.

So on to another dilemma in my life---this summer. So I am done with student teaching in 5 school days (unreal isn't it?) I have close to no idea what I will do with myself after that. I am planning on being a sub until school lets out. Then I really have no idea. This part of it isn't too much of a problem other than the fact that I have been asked if I want to go back and work at camp (Cooperstown Bible Camp in Cooperstown , ND) for the summer on the leadership staff. This is really difficult for me because my experience at CBC last summer was so incredible. I felt that I had grown unbelieveably spiritually, mentally, physically, and emtionally. The Biblical teaching that I experienced there was unreal. Really, the only way this would work out for me is if the following happen: 1. I don't owe too much on my taxes or at least I don't owe more than I have stashed away. Considering that I won a car in 2000, this is quite improbable, but God does perform miracles. 2. I work a lot in the month of May and save a lot of money. 3. Find a job that doesn't start until mid August. Now all of these things would have to occur rather quickly. So here I am in a position where I wonder if I am to wait for a sign (any of the above) or if I am to act totally on faith that this is what God wants me to do. The spiritual side of me says act on faith....but what happens if I say "okay" and then find out that I am unable to do it because I haven't found a job yet or I don't have enough money to get out to ND. So the truth is that I covet your prayers. Prayers that the things above will happen. Prayers that I will remain strong in my faith during this time of trial. Prayers that whatever happens my family will be supportive. Prayers that I will feel peace about my decsions and direction that is purely divine. Right now my stomach gets in a bunch everytime I think about what will happen in 2 weeks or in 2 days. This is unusual for me. Usually, uncertainty thrills me. Right now, it makes me feel ill. I know that God is faithful. Lord, Please shine your Light on my life.

Okay, so it has been forever since I blogged. Things have been and continue to be crazy here in Michelle's Life. Where do I even begin?
Spring Break has come and gone. I traveled to North Carolina to look around at the school system down there. Specifically, Asheville. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed Asheville. I think if they offered me a job I would have to really consider it. From there I traveled to Winston-Salem/Greensboro because they had openings for a Biology teacher. Well, I wasn't sold on that area. It looked a lot like where I live now, just in the South. Since I was only an hour from Chapel Hill, I cruised over there to take a gander at UNC because it is my littlest sister's favorite school. It is a beautiful school. It made me wish that I had thought more about going out of state for college. Then I headed home.

The whole trip brought me to a couple of conclusions. First, it is hard to move somewhere that you don't know anybody. It can work, but looking at being a first year teacher I realized that it would be a difficult thing. Second, I really don't mind the Midwest. I cannot deny that I am a Midwest gal. As boring and unpredictable as that may sound, it is the truth. It doesn't mean that I couldn't change....it just means that it would be an adjustment. Third, I am really no closer to decided what I am going to do with my life than I was 5 years ago. Well, maybe a little closer...I at least know what I want to do--teach. But the perimeters on where have not presented themselves entirely.

So this has lead me to look at places where I might know someone....or at least have some sort of connection there. So here are some choices: Denver, Chicago, Raleigh, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Nashville, Boston/RI, Burlington VT, or almost anywhere in MI. So as you can see, I am not very close to figuring out this mess I call "my life."
So this was Spring break.....I am breaking up my blogging posts to cover the last month. :)
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